Frustrated in your marriage? Here’s the absolutely best way to help a marriage.
It’s no secret that marriage can be hard. Wives may tiptoe around the subject, not wanting to admit the obvious, but every marriage is hard.
It’s hard, because two very imperfect people have vowed a lifelong covenant to each other. Even with the best intentions and efforts and commitment, marriage still is hard because there are moods. And personality tics. And the basic ebbs and flows of life that bring stress and tension to every day.
Since marriage is hard, it’s a given that a husband and wife should be ready to fight for their marriage. (Enough fighting in a marriage, ladies … try fighting for it.)
After trying to figure out how to best fight for my marriage, and after going through plenty of ups and downs in 14 years as a wife, I’ve found the absolutely best way to help a marriage.
This solution is tested – and it works. It rescues a troubled marriage like nothing else. It’s better than reading a book, or going to counseling, or trying to create a haven for your husband.
I’ve watched this solution work miracles in my own marriage, in my parents’ marriage, and in countless other marriages of family, friends, and acquaintances.
It may sound so ridiculously simple, yet can be so incredibly difficult to surrender yourself – and your marriage – to the process.
The absolutely best way to help a marriage … is prayer.
By praying for your marriage, you take the burden off yourself and give it to the Lord. You acknowledge that you can’t fix things in your own power and strength. You surrender it all to your Creator.
So simple but so hard
The ridiculously simple part is that all you have to do is pray.
Yet the incredibly difficult part is true surrender – giving it all over to the Lord and not figuring out ways to “fix” things in your own strength. The incredibly difficult part comes in praying – and praying and praying and praying – day after day, week after week, month after month.
It will be difficult to feel convicted to make changes you might not what to make. And it’s downright hard to have a good reason to be upset with your husband, but to hand it over to the Lord and let Him deal with your husband:
- Even when you want to feel justified to take matters into your own hands.
- Even when you feel like you don’t understand your husband at.all.
- Even when you want to give your husband a taste of his own medicine.
- Even when you know none of your expectations are being met.
When you’re ready to scream an “I told you so!” in frustration, pray.
In all of those times when you’re tempted to snap and get back to feel vindicated, pray.
When you’d rather nag your husband about what he’s doing wrong, pray.
If you’d rather walk out the door and start a new life, happily ever after your marriage, pray.
Discover what the Bible says about prayer – and how you can use biblical truth to build your own prayer life – in Hilary Bernstein’s book, Prayerful Living. It includes over 200 devotions, scriptures, and prayers all about praying.
Just keep praying. It will not be easy.
Praying for your husband and your marriage may seem like it’s the opposite of everything you’re longing to do. But pray anyway.
And if matters are really, really bad, confide in a close friend or counselor and ask her to pray for your marriage, too.
(If you’re not sure what to pray about every day, try Stormie Omartian’s Power of a Praying Wife. It’s a great book filled with helpful insight.)
When you feel comfortable in talking with your husband, ask him to join you in praying for your marriage. You may not necessarily pray together, but both spouses praying will only help matters.
Similarly, when you feel comfortable enough, tell your husband you’re praying for him. Especially if he’s a believer, it will be a huge encouragement to know that you’re praying. He also may appreciate it when you ask him how you can pray for him.
The amazing thing is that as you pray, your marriage will start to change. Even if your husband has no idea that you’re praying for him, God will start to work in his heart. The Lord will start to work in your heart, too. And even when your marriage isn’t perfect – and when you notice your husband isn’t perfect – your reaction will be different.
I don’t know exactly how to explain the process, but I’ve watched it happen so many times I know it is the absolutely best way.
I know that God will delight in your prayers. I know He’ll answer your prayers. And it may seem to happen slowly, but your marriage will change.
How have you watched prayer help your marriage?
Disclaimer: I am a trained journalist – not a trained counselor. If you need help with your marriage, please seek the counsel of a professional.
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All images courtesy of Unsplash.