No Place Like Home

Transform Your Home Into a Haven

  • Home
  • Start Here
  • About
  • Blog
  • Shop

Have You Become Your Own Worst Enemy?

November 4, 2015

Have you ever thought about how you think about yourself? Far too often, it’s easy to become your own worst enemy.

Have you ever thought about how you think about yourself? Far too often, it's easy to become your own worst enemy.

Lately I’ve noticed something ugly in my own life and in the life of others: People aren’t very kind to themselves.

Oh, sure, we may think we’re being kind with little guilty pleasures every now and then – sleeping in, treating yourself to a frou frou coffee drink, splurging on a new pair of shoes (or whatever may strike your fancy). But have you thought about how you think about yourself?

Far too often, people of all ages mentally beat themselves up over unimportant matters.

  • How many times do you find yourself looking in the mirror and thinking you have to lose weight? Or get a new hairstyle? Or need a new outfit?
  • How many times do you think that someone else – either someone you know or someone you only read about – has a perfect life and you just can’t compare?
  • How many times do you berate yourself for messing up? Or wish you could do better? Or do more?

Have you ever thought about how you think about yourself? Far too often, it's easy to become your own worst enemy.

Have you become your own worst enemy?

The tendency to henpeck myself has crept in to my thoughts – and I never even noticed it. I regularly entertain the thoughts of:

  • How so many more moms are better homeschoolers.
  • How so many more bloggers are more successful.
  • How so many more wives are thinner or more athletic or prettier or have fantastic hair.
  • How so many more mothers abound in patience or sweetness. Or they simply must not be so grouchy with their children.
  • How so many more writers are securing agents or book deals.
  • How so many more homemakers keep cleaner homes, create better menus, or decorate impeccably.
  • How so many more parents have more obedient (or less dramatic) children.
  • How so many more people are consistently on time.

My list goes on and on and on. Have you noticed what every one of my  issues centers around? The external. What others may think. My own selfish pride. The enemy wants us to have these thoughts because they are so selfish. And when we are focused on our own self, we are not focused on the mission God has for us.

The funny thing is I know I don’t truly care about any of these things – yet they still invade my thoughts. (Interesting how Satan works, huh?)

Comparison has become a normal part of my every day, and here’s the scary thing: I don’t even notice that I’m doing it. I let the thoughts in and they have a great time wreaking mental havoc while I go about my day to day tasks, feeling discouraged yet wishful that I can change.

This should not be so. In fact, it’s utterly ridiculous. Because no one is perfect – and my imperfect attempts and all of my fumbling just might appear to be great to someone else.

Have you ever thought about how you think about yourself? Far too often, it's easy to become your own worst enemy.

A wake up call

I was confronted with the reality just yesterday. A dear friend and I have been trading off homeschooling history lessons twice a month – one week we meet at her home and she prepares the lesson and lunch, two weeks later I do the same.

Two weeks ago, she had an ah-MAZE-ing Boston Tea Party lesson. The kids were engaged and having fun, I loved watching them learn – and then I began to think about how it was the best school lesson they’ve had all year. And it wasn’t anything I had prepared.

After she finished, she apologized for the lesson, for misbehaving kids, for whatever … and I kept thanking her for the wonderful day, blown away by her FANTASTIC job.

Yesterday, we switched and I hosted a George Washington lesson. I felt like it was such a disaster. Since I waited until the night before to finalize lesson plans, I spent the early morning scurrying around to prepare – and then, I was late. The other family came and I was still preparing our morning snack. (Fortunately the kids loved starting off the day with some play time.)

By the time the lesson came, I felt like it was a big flop. How in the world do you engage young students in George Washington’s life? I muddled through the morning, completely winging some of the activities. It seemed like a near disaster to me. But do you know what my friend quietly kept repeating? “This is AMAZING!”

Say what?

I decided we’re a perfect match, because I thought her lesson was incredible – even though she deemed it a failure – and she thought mine was incredible – even though I’m quite certain it was a disaster.

And then it hit me. People are far too quick to dwell on their perceived shortcomings than to celebrate what’s actually going right.

Have you ever thought about how you think about yourself? Far too often, it's easy to become your own worst enemy.

Let’s make a change, OK?

If you struggle with the same thought processes that I do, I want to tell both of us that it just isn’t healthy.

We need to stop beating ourselves up.

Not everything is going to be perfect. (That’s life in this fallen world!) We are always going to need to improve. Someone will always be better than we are. And someone will always be worse.

As long as we’re making an honest attempt in our day-to-day living, could we all just chill out? Give yourself grace. You may need it more than you think.

While you want to avoid being proud (“The haughtiness of man shall be humbled, and the lofty pride of men shall be brought low, and the Lord alone will be exalted in that day.” – Isaiah 2:17), you also don’t want to think of yourself worse than you should.

Remember – you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 14). God loves you so much that He sent His son to give his life FOR YOU (John 3:16). If you’re a believer in Christ, you’ve been redeemed. You are set apart. You’ve been blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing.

Start examining your thoughts, and stop dwelling on destructive lies. (When you fill your minds with the truth of the Bible, you’ll be able to discern what those lies are.) Live in freedom and confidence that you’re a work in progress – and most likely you’re doing a lot better than you think.

Have you ever thought about how you think about yourself? Far too often, it's easy to become your own worst enemy.

Have you thought about how you think about yourself? Have you become your own worst enemy? What lies have you entertained – and what is actually true?

Filed Under: Christian Living Leave a Comment

« My Top Homemaking Challenges … and My Top Homemaking Solutions
When You Feel Like a Homemaking Failure »

About Hilary

Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, homeschooling mama, and writer who believes every Christian woman can transform her home into a haven. She loves laughing, getting handwritten letters, hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio while driving her kids around, and relaxing on family vacations at the beach. The author of several eBooks, Hilary loves to encourage her e-mail subscribers!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Hi! I'm Hilary! Click here to learn more about me ... and No Place Like Home.

I believe every Christian woman can transform her home into a haven. Here's how I can help.

Categories

Recent Haven Posts

When you know your own preferences, your personality will be reflected in your home. Here are 2 important questions to ask when creating a haven for yourself.
Spring is coming! Here are 4 ways to celebrate spring in your home.
Wish you could return to a cozy home every day? Here are 5 simple ways to make it happen!
With so many major problems in the world, it might surprise you that you can use your haven to change the world.
Create a special place just for you and your spouse ... transform your bedroom into a couple's haven.
Having a haven to call your own is important for so many reasons. Here's why you need to create a haven NOW...
Want to add some good books to your reading list this year? Here are 12 books to read in 2018!
Feeling stuck with your life or homemaking this year? Make a change to your life in 2018 with one effective strategy.
As you work through all of these steps to creating a haven, you’ll start to notice a big change in your home and in yourself. You’ll find the freedom and welcome a haven can give.
If you've created a haven, use it to welcome others!
Create a haven this Christmas as a gift for yourself ... and your loved ones.

More Posts

Recent Housekeepking Posts

Feeling like you’re caring for your home all the time, mama? Tired of being the mom who cleans all the time? Here are 2 ways to spend more time with your children and less time with your housework.
Need to simplify your homemaking? You might be surprised at how one factor in your home can be a huge game-changer.
Have you ever thought that your wardrobe choices could affect your home? Here’s how to make your clothing choices help your homemaking!
You might not want to admit it, but the calling  to care for your home is a great thing.
Drowning in clutter? Here’s one way to declutter so you can free yourself – and your home – from the clutches of the clutter monster.
It feels impossible to care for your home when you're physically unable. But if you’re sick or not feeling well or have physical limitations, here are some ways to accomplish something around the house.
Trying different organizational methods and routines was the only way I could figure out what worked well for my family's personalities, our home, and our schedule.
Having trouble when it comes to trying to stay on top of everyday tasks? Here are 3 practical ways to accomplish goals in your home.
Non-Negotiable Daily Chores are a great way to bring consistency, peace and success to your daily homemaking routine.
So how can a homemaker manage her time and balance husband and children and cleaning? How can you have time and energy to get housekeeping done each week when you have children in your home or are working a full-time job?

More Posts

Recent Family Posts

Mama, are you feeling defeated? You are NOT alone. Here are 3 strategies that can help you overcome mommy defeat!
If you want to make your motherhood count – and if you know you need to transform your outlook and approach to mothering – here are 3 steps to take today.
Are your expectations in marriage making a big difference in your contentment and satisfaction?
Being your husband's good thing is a a huge but humbling gift for a wife.
you’re in this for the long haul – when times are good and when times are bad. When your husband is amazing, and when he’s a jerk.
Kindness in your marriage is a huge game-changer. Without it, you and your husband are miserable. With it, your marriage becomes a beautiful thing.
Self-care simply is taking time to do something that refreshes you.
As you set yourself up to thrive this year, think about your weaknesses and strengths in seven different aspects of your life. Then brainstorm some goals!
As my family has transitioned from strangers to friends with our neighbors, I know it’s only because we’ve taken the time to get to know them.
Are you the mom of young children? You'll love these 8 ways to make Christmas special with babies and toddlers!
So how can a homemaker manage her time and balance husband and children and cleaning? How can you have time and energy to get housekeeping done each week when you have children in your home or are working a full-time job?

More Posts

  • Join the Community
  • Contact
  • About
  • Blog
  • Shop
© 2018 HilaryBernstein.com. Custom site by Moonsteam Design.