When You Feel Like a Homemaking Failure
Feel like a homemaking failure? It’s OK … it’s not too late to start making changes one small step at a time.
When it comes to homemaking, have you ever felt like a failure?
I have … more often than I’d care to admit.
With a Type B personality, I lack the stick-to-itiveness as a Type A homemaker.
- I don’t have everything in my house perfectly organized.
- My laundry doesn’t run right on schedule.
- In fact, I don’t even follow a schedule. (Gasp!)
I hear plenty of wives and moms talk about routines and systems to help their homemaking happen like clockwork, and I feel so inadequate.
- Yet my house is presentable every day.
- I feed my family healthy, fresh food.
- I keep our dishes and laundry clean.
But I just can’t commit to a routine. I feel trapped when I think about systems.
When I do try to manage my day with a schedule, on paper it looks so promising! I just might be able to fit everything in, and keep my home running like a well-oiled machine.
But after one or two days of trying the schedule, it all falls apart.
Life happens, my chores take longer than I plan, and I end up feeling like a failure. Again. I know I’m not a failure, but it can still feel like it.
Your need for a unique strategy
If you’re in a similar situation, feeling like it’s impossible to get everything together, take a deep breath. It’s OK.
You may go about your homemaking a little different than organized women, but really … it’s OK! There is hope for the Type B homemakers of the world.
I’m a HUGE believer that every home and homemaker is unique.
Because of that, all of the homemaking systems and routines you’ll find online won’t work in your home. Oh, sure, they may include lots of good ideas. But if you’re judging your homemaking success based on them, please stop.
It’s time to create your very own strategy for your very own Type B personality and your very own home.
In defense of a life without a home management binder, I don’t ever remember hearing about a home management binder or system until 10 years ago. Growing up, the homemakers in my life never had them. My born-organized mother never did. None of my mom’s stay-at-home mom friends did. Neither of my grandmothers did. These women just knew how to care for their homes, as it had been modeled to them growing up. They didn’t need to read what to do next, because homemaking had become a habit. Just like them, homemaking can become a habit for us.
Small steps
Part of creating your own strategy involves making small changes. Small changes, while they may seem insignificant at first, can build up to make a big difference.
So becoming organized? And decluttering? Or taking control of your home? I believe it’s all absolutely possible one small change at a time.
When you want – and need – to change and embrace some kind of order, it’s time to find daily duties that work for you and then turn them into habits.
Start by picking just three or four chores you know you must do every single day. Focus on completing these Non-Negotiable Daily Chores before you consider moving on to other projects in your home.
Then once those chore become a natural part of your day (and they will!) add in other jobs that need done.
To prioritize those jobs, pinpoint exactly what’s out of control, track down possible solutions, and get plans in place.
Then simply work your plans.
Once your home is under control, you can eventually figure out a time to do brief deep cleaning chores throughout your year. But don’t sweat that right now:
- Simply know you want and need to change.
- Know what you’d like to start changing and working on.
- Then get to work and start making those changes today!
When you focus on those three steps, you’ll start to make a difference in your home – and all of those feelings of failure will disappear!
Are you with me? Do you ever feel like a homemaking failure? Are you willing to try to make small changes?
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Oh my goodness Hilary, this is so me! Thanks for putting how I’ve been feeling lately into words. It’s encouraging to know that other homemakers struggle too.
Katie!! I miss you! You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. Thanks for encouraging me that I’m not alone!
You know, I am Type A, but I still struggle with feeling like a failure when things don’t go exactly as planned- and let’s be real, they never do :) I am thankful my mother was not the perfect homemaker. Otherwise, I might feel worse. I suppose you could look at the bright side. Your homemaking won’t be intimidating to your children ;) I hope your 2016 routines go well!
So Type B is the woman who gets disorganized and then looks at everything, gets overwhelmed and sits down to cry? Because THAT is me! I am exactly like my mother! Growing there was constant chaos at home. Piles of papers everywhere, stuff piled on the kitchen table to the point that we spent at least five minutes trying to find a place to put our plates!
I don’t want that kind of home. I want a home that is welcoming, a place where people can just relax and not feel awkward. I want my home to make people think of Jesus. I just lack the motivation! I’m definitely in! Have you beard if the Clean Mama blog? I ask because you can print a chore list there that gives you just a few small things to do every day. One day is bathroom day, so you go give that room a thorough cleaning from top to bottom. Then you might sweep the floors and wipe down counters in the rest of the house.
There is also a blog called Corner Stone Confessions and there is a lot of helpful info there. She also has an amazing planner set up you could look at.
I am totally the same way with the type of home makeing. Right now it is hard to keep up with my changes as my hubby and I have caught colds two weeks after improvements had been made in one of my areas. I am getting back on the horse as the saying goes since things have gotten helter skelter.
Thank you! While I love the “idea” of a homemaking binder, I have never been able to create one and make it stick. Lots of time and money for nada. What worked best for me (when I had mom brain…who am I kidding, does that ever go away??) was just to have a simple list with my “ideal” morning and afternoon tasks on it. That way if I walked into the kitchen feeling frazzled, I could look at my list and get back on track. I don’t know why I took the list down. I need to pull it out and hang it up again.
I agree with you, Jennifer, that a simple daily list works best for me. I tried (yet again) in the past year to make a new homemaking binder and found out (yet again) that I never got around to completing it. :) Yet life in my home still goes on. :)
I’m totally overwhelmed and lacking any kind of motivation to pick myself up. Family of five kids and busy husband and I’m the only one who knows how to clean or put away. I feel like drinking myself to death right now and nobody to really talk to who will understand