People Over Things!?!

If and when you have free time, do you try to work on your to-do list? Or do you tend to choose people over things?

Raise your hand if you find it incredibly tempting to focus on all the things you have to do, whether it’s chores or appointments or tasks for work, instead of taking time to slow down and enjoy the people in your life.

Can you see my hand over here, waving furiously? I’m right there with you, admitting that all the work and tasks on my to-do list typically have a funny way of sucking my attention and time. These jobs may not even necessarily need to be done right away, but if I start to obsess over doing something, it’s hard to slow down and prioritize reasonably.

If and when you have free time, do you try to work on your to-do list? Or do you tend to choose people over things?

About ten years ago, though, I woke up to the startling realization that my work was going nowhere. I could work as hard as I wanted to around my home every day, and I’d still have more work the next day.

In fact, some chores–like dishes and laundry–were never-ending. They weren’t like vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom every few days. Dirty dishes and dirty clothing had an uncanny way of piling up really quickly, especially with a house full of growing kids. If I didn’t keep up with those two problem spots, there might be a lot of trouble.

Yet as hard as I tried to keep up with everything, there was no finish line or grand finale. Chores go on forever. Earlier in my life, as I expected my own mom to do much of the work in our family home, this reality was the furthest thing from my mind.

Limited Time

One thing that doesn’t stretch on and on forever, though, is your available time to spend with people.

Some people have a way of coming and going from your life. Your time together might be very short and you might enjoy each other’s company for a few hours or a few months. Other people stay around longer and leave a lasting mark in your life. You might be able to build into these relationships for years. And still other people last and last, almost for a lifetime.

Regardless of how long you’ll get to spend with any one person, the fact of the matter your time together is fleeting. And since you can’t be positively sure how long you’ll get with each other, it’s wise to choose people before things.

Yes, your work needs done. You need to go grocery shopping or pay the bills. The toilet does need scrubbed and certain phone calls need to be made.

However, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you could choose spending time with a person or getting some work done, challenge yourself to invest in people. My tendency to focus on work instead of people reminds me so much of the story of two sisters, Martha and Mary, told in Luke 10 in the Bible:

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’
” ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’ ” (Luke 10:38-42)

Just like Martha learned, take a breather. Don’t be so focused on tasks, but rather spend time with someone while you can. Purposefully build into relationships and enjoy your time spent with others. Put down your devices and spend some one-on-one time together, face-to-face.

You might get to experience something pretty memorable, or you might have an encouraging or enlightening conversation. Your time together might be spectacular … or spectacularly boring. Regardless if you’re just visiting while you sit in rocking chair on the porch or you’re rocking out together to your favorite live band at a concert, say yes to people. Take the time to choose people over things.

Your housework? Your paperwork? It will still be there tomorrow. Unless you’re up against an unforgiving deadline, most of your work can be postponed. But each day is a gift. Take time to invest in the people in your life while you have the opportunity.

Is it easier for you to focus on people over things? Or accomplishing tasks and finishing your to-do list?

Hilary

Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, homeschooling mama, and writer who helps women experience God's perfect peace in messy, imperfect life. She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio, traveling with her family, and spending cozy nights at home. The author of fifteen books,Hilary also is Women's Ministry Director at The Chapel in Green, Ohio.