Welcoming The Tension of Tidy into the World!

When my kids were young, each summer my parents treated my family to a week at the beach. And every time, the adults would spend our late nights working on large jigsaw puzzles after the kids were tucked into bed. One year, we started building our puzzle by finding all the corners and edges, but we quickly discovered that our puzzle pieces didn’t match the picture on the puzzle box.

After the initial anger and frustration wore off—how dare the manufacturer put the wrong puzzle pieces in the box!—we kept working on the puzzle. Working only from the colors and shapes was much more difficult than we would’ve chosen, but by the end of the week we fit the final puzzle pieces together and saw our masterpiece.

Our puzzle looked nothing like we initially anticipated, and the process was longer, more draining, and more frustrating than we’d hoped, but the finished product was complete. And that puzzle was
beautiful.

In much the same way, what God has in mind for our lives and homes and families may look completely different from anything we imagine. Isaiah 55:8 reminds us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” We may feel pressured into thinking the finished product of our lives and homes should turn out one way, but he surprises us with puzzle pieces that are completely different from anything we could’ve asked for or expected.

Piecing Together the Puzzle

Our lives ARE like puzzles. The pieces that God gives us may not at all be what we think we want or need. We may decide that this puzzle picture is NOT what we would’ve ever chosen. Yet God continues to make something beautiful in each of us.

Four years ago, I gave up on writing. Completely. Writing a book—a traditional, trade book filled with chapters—had been my dream since I was six or seven years old. But I was forty-five and had been trying to break into publishing for more than ten years. I had prayed and prayed, and God blessed me with opportunities to write more than a dozen devotional books, but traditional publishing wasn’t going to happen for me. It was time to close that door and move on.

But God had other plans.

He knew my puzzle pieces didn’t look at all like I expected or hoped. But He kept revealing them, piece by piece.

A competition sponsored by my dream literary agency, Books and Such, grabbed my attention. I needed to describe a book in just twenty-five words.

But what book would I even write? I had no time. I had no ideas. So I prayed. And an idea popped into my head to write a book about our homes that included truth from the Psalms.

I named it “The Homemaker’s Psalms,” and sent in this 25-word hook: Shepherded by insight from the Psalms, The Homemaker’s Psalms leads women to peace and purpose as they care for their homes and families.

When I heard back that I was a finalist, I suddenly needed to create a 50-page book proposal, including chapter summaries, on a book I had never considered before. But I took twelve hours, PRAYED, wrote a quick proposal, and submitted it for the next stage in the contest.

A couple months later, when literary agent Barb Roose sent me an email asking for a Zoom meeting, I fell to my knees — and the first words out of my mouth were, “Lord Jesus, I can’t do this! Not right now. … But THANK YOU.”

I praised Him for His faithfulness. I praised Him for this gift. I begged Him for strength. And when I talked with Barb a couple weeks later and she asked me to join Books and Such Literary Agency, I started weeping. This was what I spent years praying for. I felt completely unequipped, completely empty, completely unsure of what in the world I needed to do next. But I also felt completely humbled and confident that this was God’s will.

So I said yes to God and said yes to Barb. I started researching and writing The Homemaker’s Psalms. I wrote three chapters, edited them, and let them simmer for ten months.

From The Homemaker’s Psalms to The Tension of Tidy

When I talked with Barb about the book and other possibilities, she and I ended up catching up about life. Suddenly, all of my frustrations started pouring out. About busyness, about expectations, and about how it was affecting my home and relationships, and peace of mind.

Barb told me THAT was the book I needed to write.

But I wanted to READ that book. I was imperfect. My home was imperfect. I needed someone to help me figure things out.

I agreed to pray about the possibility and the Lord gently began to show me that perfection is NOT the goal.

You see, we’ll never be perfect.

Our homes will never be perfect.

And somewhere, along the way of actually enjoying the opportunity to care for my family’s home, I knew that I had a bunch of easy, practical housekeeping methods and insight that could help others.

You and I CAN experience the peace we long for in our homes. But it’s not dependent on picture-perfect furnishings or spotlessly clean surroundings.

You and I CAN experience peace when we acknowledge our imperfections and embrace God’s perfect, grace-filled offer.

When we feel weak— and that can happen every single day with the reality of never-ending chores—HE is strong. He gives enough strength and energy and ideas and hard work to get things done.

And that’s the message of my brand-new book, The Tension of Tidy. We may feel weak and imperfect and burdened by expectations and tensions. That’s to be expected in this world. But God is strong. He is perfect. He offers us grace and freedom in our lives and in our homes.

So much gratitude

Not to ruin the surprise, but I said yes to the book. And one morning, before I started writing a thing, I woke up and the words “The Tension of Tidy” popped into my mind. I knew right away this was the title. This was the book. God would work out every detail.

And He has! He walked me through a new book proposal and sample chapters. He opened the door so that Kregel Publications loved the idea right away. He gave words and clarity, He stretched time and gave energy. He multiplied my patience.

I said yes to God and started brainstormingThe Tension of Tidy in June 2022. I signed my contract with Kregel and started writing The Tension of Tidy in June 2023. I was on my fourth round of edits with Kregel in June 2024. And here we are, January 28, 2025, with this blessing of a book.

And so today, I praise and thank God for His faithfulness. ALL praise and glory go to Him. Just when I gave up, He opened this door and walked me through step by step.

I’m thankful for the writing professionals I’ve had the privilege to work with: Kregel Publications and my editors, marketing team, and publicist there, as well as Books and Such Literary Agency and Barb Roose, my fearless and bold agent.

I’m thankful for my mighty launch team who has shared the news of this book with people they know.

I’m thankful for my prayer team who has faithfully prayed for me throughout this launch.

I’m thankful for the encouragement from so many of you—blog readers, friends, sisters in Christ, and family members like my mother- and father-in-law and my mom and dad.

And I’m thankful for my favorite people in this entire world, my husband and kids. Because they were willing to share me and my time, I was able to write this book and get this message out:

There is freedom from unrealistic expectations and never-ending work. God’s perfect grace does help us manage our imperfect spaces. And you can read all about it in my brand-new book, The Tension of Tidy: Uncovering God’s Perfect Grace for Your Imperfect Space.

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Hilary

Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, homeschooling mama, and writer who helps women experience God's perfect peace in messy, imperfect life. She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio, traveling with her family, and spending cozy nights at home. The author of fifteen books,Hilary also is Women's Ministry Director at The Chapel in Green, Ohio.