When You Have No Idea What You're Doing • Hilary Bernstein

Can I let you in on a secret?

I have no idea what I’m doing.

Here it is, New Year’s Eve, and I just turned fifty years old. Fifty. That’s half a century of living and learning, making mistakes, and changing course. It seems like over five decades I should have been able to figure out what I’m doing.

Yet when I snatch a few quiet moments to reflect on my life–where I’ve come from and where I’m hopefully headed–I realize that I feel fairly clueless.

My kids are graduating high school and moving on to the next phase of life and I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing in my parenting. Somehow I’ve homeschooled them for the past fourteen years, even when all of it felt like it was by the seat of my pants. (Reality check? In the midst of my uncertain feelings, college acceptances and scholarships keep rolling in and amazing my family.)
I’ve written about caring for our homes for years–both blog posts and books–yet I can look around at piles of papers that need to be sorted and stuffed closets, and know that my house could use yet another round of decluttering and purging. If I knew what I was doing, would I still face the same struggles year after year? (Reality check? Homemaking responsibilities are never-ending! You and I will never get caught up on all that needs done.)
I’m ready to start my fifth year of leading the women at my church. This is a position I was fully aware that I didn’t know how or what to do. You would think I could manage all the tasks and plans by now, yet I’m continually faced with new situations and twists that leave me feeling clueless. And before every women’s event I’m filled with the reality that unless God moves and works, all of my attempts are rubbish. (Reality check? God IS moving and working in women’s hearts and lives. He establishes relationships and connections in breathtakingly beautiful ways.)

Admitting You Don’t Know

I suppose I could get frustrated with myself, and perhaps even a little angry, when I realize that all of my ducks are NOT in a row.

And sometimes I do. This morning I woke up, took a look at my messy bedroom, and was reminded of all the messes in my life that I didn’t get cleaned up this year. I replayed all my unfinished business and unmet goals. I considered how I have no idea what I’m doing.

Then I considered all that the Lord has brought me though. In this past year, He has done so much. And it might not be what I had hoped or asked for, but He did it. And it was good.

Instead of feeling disappointed by what seems to be happening in life, we can experience thankfulness for God’s grace. In all of our cluelessness, He is gentle with our confusion. He patiently and lovingly guides us through all of life’s uncertainties.

In the moments when we have no idea what we’re doing or where we’re headed, instead of mentally belittling ourselves we can choose to tell God about our weaknesses. We can pour out our hearts to Him and talk to Him about our insecurities, doubt, and confusion. Then we can ask Him for His help and strength.

As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I’m not sure I’ve reached the point where I can boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses. Have you? But instead of trying to cover them up or work through them on our own, we can freely admit they exist.

Trusting His Faithful Guidance

Something special happens when we give up and hand things over to the Lord. When a situation comes along that we know we cannot handle, somehow He handles everything. He continues to walk us through life step by step, day by day.

When we are weak, He proves His strength by protecting and providing, leading and guiding. This has happened time and time again. In fact, it’s never NOT happened.

Because God is faithful, it doesn’t matter that we have no idea what we’re doing. He DOES know what He’s doing, and He’s working out His plans in my life and in yours.

Even when we feel like we’re inept or know that we have come to the end of ourselves, He continues to do a good work.

Many days it can feel like we’re taking three steps forward and two steps back, but He is making progress. We may not understand the direction or path, but it’s okay. He does.

As we enter into a brand new year of uncertainties, we can rest in the fact that He goes before us. The Lord God Almighty will walk with those who trust in Him. He will shepherd His flock and lead us through this life whether we feel like we have a clue … or we have no idea what we’re doing.

How has the Lord been your faithful guide over this past year? How does He lead you when you have no idea what you’re doing?

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Hilary

Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, mom, and writer who helps women experience God's perfect peace in messy, imperfect life. She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio, traveling with her family, and spending cozy nights at home. The author of fifteen books, Hilary also is Women's Ministry Director at The Chapel in Green, Ohio.