Encouragement

What I Never Ever Expected About Homemaking

Oftentimes, reality is so much different than wishes. After hoping I would someday become a homemaker, there were plenty of things I never expected about homemaking.

Oftentimes, reality is so much different than wishes. After hoping I would someday become a homemaker, there were plenty of things I never expected about homemaking.

You know how you may dream about becoming something for years, but then once your dream becomes a reality you notice the truth behind your fantasies?

  • You want to be finished with school to be an adult and make adult choices. But once you graduate you’re faced with how tough real life really is. Jobs and bills help you quickly realize that homework and living in your parents’ home wasn’t so bad after all. And summer vacation! Where did it go??
  • You dream of owning your own home to have your own space and paint your own walls. But once you sign your life away and get the keys, you’re faced with your mortgage, home repairs, and emergencies.
  • You long to be married and spend the rest of your life with your true love. But after the honeymoon is over, you realize that you and your spouse are in day-to-day life together as a team as long as you both shall live. Even when you don’t see eye to eye. Even when your husband’s soup slurping habit drives you crazy.
  • You want to be a parent and soak in the love, joy and snuggles from your child. But once your baby arrives, you deal with screams in the middle of the night, spit-up accidentally landing in your mouth, temper tantrums, and, eventually, teenage angst.
  • You long for a dream vacation, but once you save up enough money and go, things are too crowded, too hot (or cold or rainy), and too expensive.

Every aspect of life is filled with all sorts of joys and frustrations. You can choose to dwell on the joys – or the frustrations. Or, you could also choose to take it all in stride.

Oftentimes, reality is so much different than wishes. After hoping I would someday become a homemaker, there were plenty of things I never expected about homemaking.

The joys and stress of homemaking

When it comes to homemaking, there’s plenty to take in stride.

I can still remember dreaming of creating and keeping my own home when I was young – but I imagined happy family times, home décor, and intimate moments.

Never did I imagine the day-after-day repetition of meal planning, cooking, bill paying, budgeting, cleaning, organizing, laundry, dishes, and being a thing-finder for my children and husband.

The reality, though, is that homemaking can be exhausting.

All of the responsibilities take so much time, attention and energy. (I never want to hear that anyone’s “just” a homemaker! Instead, try juggling everything a homemaker does for just one week!)

Waking up each day to repeat the process over and over can begin to feel like you’re stuck in Groundhog Day.

It’s exhausting to be in charge of it all.

But it’s worth it.

As a homemaker, it can seem daunting to manage so much. But instead of looking at the weight of the responsibilities, try to focus on the blessings:

  • You have the privilege of creating a home for your family.
  • You have the privilege of nourishing them with meals.
  • You have the privilege of helping them prepare for their days with clean laundry, stocked cupboards, and filled bellies.

These are your very own people that you get to love and care for. Not have to love and care for.

As a great support system and one of the most important people in their lives, you can help your husband and children focus on what they need to do – and to do it well.

Is it selfless? Yes. But in putting aside your own wants, you can experience the beauty and fulfillment that comes when you choose to put aside selfishness.

Does this seem crazy in this self-centered world? Of course. But when you experience the joy and satisfaction that comes from caring for your family and home, it’s more than worth it.

Oftentimes, reality is so much different than wishes. After hoping I would someday become a homemaker, there were plenty of things I never expected about homemaking.

When homemaking is more than you expect

Even though I never could have guessed all the work that comes with keeping a home, I also never could have guessed how much I could see my housework become a blessing to others.

My efforts make a difference – in the lives of my husband, my children, and friends and family who visit our home.

That is what I never expected about homemaking.

I know my efforts are helping their lives, and even if my hard work isn’t always recognized, I can find satisfaction and rest in the fact that I’m working hard to glorify God and love my family– not myself.

Oftentimes, reality is so much different than wishes. After hoping I would someday become a homemaker, there were plenty of things I never expected about homemaking.

What are some things you never expected about homemaking?


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Hilary
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6 Comments

  1. You are so right about all the work being a homemaker is, thankfully it’s balanced by the rewards of being able to bless those you minister to. What I have found hard is the fact that I was so busy ministering to my family I didn’t spend enough time training them so now I have gone back to work, after 17yrs at home, they really aren’t keen to do anything to help. So I’m working but still doing the homemaking chores myself, because it’s easier and less effort than fighting with teenagers when I come home tired after a days work. Lesson learnt! I try to remember that I need to be thankful I have a family to complain about. Though now I have a chores chart I just made so things are changing around here next week. I’m sure you’ll hear the groaning from your place.

  2. I have this quote by Marilyn Thomsen hanging on my wall above the computer: “And while it takes courage to achieve greatness, it takes more courage to find fulfilment in being ordinary. For the joys that last have little relationship to achievement, to standing one step higher on the victory platform. What is the adventure in being ordinary? It is daring to love just for the pleasure of giving it away. It is venturing to give new life and to nurture it to maturity. It is working hard for the pure joy of being tired at the end of the day. It is caring and sharing and giving and loving.”

    My one goal as a homemaker – and this is the same if I’m in paid employment outside the home or not – is to create a haven in the storm of life. No matter what the world throws at us, I want us to know that as soon as we step through the door at the end of the day, we are in safe place – not just physically but emotionally. I want my home to be a place of peace and beauty, where everyone is accepted, just as they are, and everyone feels strengthened and nurtured and loved.

    1. I love the quote, Becca, but oh … I love your goal! That is mine too. It’s not an easy one, but worthy of our time, energy and focus!

  3. Soup slurping. Haha! I just about lost my ever-loving mind over this today. Had to keep telling myself: you love him. You love him. A few years ago I would have yelled. Now I just kept the peace!

    1. Hilarious!! And I’m so glad I’m not the only wife with that annoyance … or the only wife who has a soup slurping husband. (Misery loves company, right?) 🙂 At times – like in the middle of a slurp – it can be SO hard to keep the peace!

  4. Wonderful write up! I have written about burn out with the day in and out of being a housewife and how to overcome it…or rather how to get reinspired, because it is the best job I have ever had. I love it, but yes, it can become drudgery real fast.

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